Coming Out To My Girlfriend.

Anxiety has taken over. 

 My confidence level has dropped! I don’t feel comfortable in my own body. I constantly have the urge to flee and start somewhere, anywhere else new. I feel like I just want to hide from the world until I am where I want to be.  Obviously I couldn’t just up and leave! But sometimes I feel like it would be the easiest thing to do.  I have been really depressed and worried about my future.  What will this all mean? Will I get a job again now? Does this mean my acting days are up? How can I transition? How will ever afford it? Will this mean my girlfriend will leave me? I am currently ill, how will I cope? What will everyone think of me?In all honesty dysphoria has hit me like a tone of bricks! With that, anxiety has really taken over.

Me and my girlfriend have had talks before and we had watched some of the trans documentaries together, she has even noticed I do similar things and have even joked about me being transgender. I of course denied it, however I was always thinking about it after, my mind never rested from that thought. I am still finding it difficult to accept, not because it's not true,but because it is.  I struggled to come to terms with being transgender because I know this means a huge change in my life and I don't want to lose people, what if everyone won't accept me? I just felt so depressed.

After many long talks with my girlfriend, I told her I think I am transgender, My girlfriend was quite understanding and very supportive.  I know she has noticed that I have been feeling very dysphoric and uncomfortable within my own self. 

After we spoke about how bad I felt, she said “Let’s to go shopping, that is the most realistic step we can take right now.”  I was glad to take that step together as I lacked confidence at that point and truly needed someone to support me through this.  I needed someone to hold my hand and walk me through the first steps, because in all honesty those are the scariest.  I needed help coming to terms with the fact that I am transgender and even though I know it in my heart, it is a different thing to live and walk your truth every day. To be brave enough to not care what anyone else thinks of you, for the sake of your own happiness.

Hello February, Hello Life.

Greetings to the beautiful things that are arriving and thank you all the blessings in disguise. Go with the flow.  Embrace life, embrace change, stay strong! Believe.  Keep your head up, trust the universe. Treasure everything. No matter what, put your best foot forward. Don't cheat yourself. Love inside & out. Accept the things you can't change and have the courage to change the things you can. This is your life, You got the power! It lays within.<3 Remember to Remember.