Coming Out To My Mum

I live in a house with only women, my mum has noticed the washing line is suddenly full of boxers and men's clothes…my washing looks like there is a man living here. There is, me! But I haven’t told her yet. My mum has been acting weird for a about a week now, she keeps looking at me like she is concerned and I keep looking at her back like I 
want to tell her something but then I don’t know how to just bring it up
and I don’t know if I am ready yet.   

I remember my mum saying she is really worried about me because she knows I have been having hard time with my health and being stuck at home.  
She thinks I am depressed and letting myself go, because I stopped wearing make-up, I only wear really boyish thing and my hair was never out. She was really concerned to why I was suddenly only wearing boxes. She told me they were ugly and that surely I can’t be comfortable, if I liked boxers; there were women’s ones, why did I have to have the men’s one? 

In the end it got in to a bit of an argument and out of frustration I told her I am comfortable that way and that I am transgender!  (Which wasn't the way I wanted to tell my mum- we have a close relationship and I wanted it to be a better conversation.) 
It's my own mistake for thinking she wouldn't notice anything yet.

My mum was in shock at first, it was left on a bad note. I was not expressing myself very well and I think it’s a lot to take in, we left it for a day, I stayed in my room mostly. The next day my mum came in and gave me the biggest hug and said she has been thinking about what I said and that she remembers that as a child I had many sign of gender dysphoria. I was like a boy, I was different from my sisters and even my own sisters joke and have called me their older brother. But obviously because of my acting and she has seen me all done up many times she forgot what I was like as a child, and how much I'd freak out when asked to wear a dress, and if I had to wear it e.g. at my grandmas I would be angry for weeks after. My mum said  she loves me and she is proud of me, she just wants me to be happy again! That is what she is the most concerned about my happiness and if this means me being happy and its for the right reasons, then go for it. 

She then told my sister for support I think, plus my sister’s best friend is a transwoman. My mum and my sister both said why didn’t I tell them sooner? I think they were offended. I know in all honestly they have always supported me, I explained that it had no reflection on them, I personally was still struggling to accept it, I was really anxious and I just wanted to be more confident and in a better phase so they could understand it’s a good thing and it’s a change for the best, rather than seeing me struggling through this hard part. I wasn’t strong enough at that point and  I didn’t want anyone to try and talk me out of transitioning.   

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